My anti-social self is beginning to hate the fact that there's too many people and too many activities the past couple of weeks. During my boss' last week here in the office, we've been dining out a lot. We also had her book launch on her last day. My family's been around for a week now and we've been going out a lot too. We went on a extended pilgrimage/trip last weekend with my cousins and their parents and I'm off to follow them at some clubhouse in two hours for a family thing (AGAIN). Man! They seem endless. They never run out of reasons to go out and have fun. I sometimes consider it debauchery.
Social activities stress me out sometimes. I periodically go through moments when I obsessively crave for solitude. It's not that I don't enjoy the company of people, it's just that there are times when it's more than what I prefer; it's a little too much than what I actually need, it gives me headaches already (quite literally, at that). The thing that irks me most about it is that it takes a lot of time, which during ordinary days have been set aside for prayer and reflection.
I've never really had an active social life. I'm an anti-social bookworm, yea. I spend a lot of my free time alone listening to music, reading, scouring bookstores or grudgingly trying to do the laundry.. I don't mind hanging out by myself; that is not to say though that I dont have friends. I have quite deep and God-centered ones. I'm not THAT anti-social. I partly blame my overprotective grandparents and to some extent, my mom, for not allowing me to "socialise" and play outdoors when I was a kid. I was so sheltered, which I believe is one of the reasons why I'm not very outgoing, though I don't consider that entirely detrimental. I lived away from family since I was 13 and I consider myself quite independent and self-reliant, I must say I still lived on the shadow of their protectiveness. There were too many rules, followed them to the letter and imposed stricter ones on myself as my own fine form of rebellion. (Now how many times have I said that??)
Anyway, I admit that I'm too cerebral and I know that I shoouldn't always be thinking and thinking and reflecting and reflecting. I should learn to be less uptight and more outgoing. More than two friends have pointed that out but even if they say I have too much brain activity, I still don't think it's of the academic/intellectual type. My thoughts are continuous reflections on things - personal or otherwise. I dont speak out or write them down until I've somehow grasped or understood them myself. Oh well, whatever. Long and short of it, I can't wait to be alone again and READ and pray and reflect. It's killing me! I have quiet times to make up for, bible readings to catch up on and a few new books (well, bargain ones) to devour. I've recently finished Chaim Potok's novel, In the Beginning, when I was away from work for a whole week due to those allergies and I'm on the last chapter of Anthony Trollope's The Warden.
Thought I'd share the new books I can't wait to read/finish (in no particular order):
1. Moments of Reprieve by Primo Levi
2. My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok
3. Still Life by AS Byatt (then again, I should read Babel Tower first and find myself a bargain copy of Possession)
4. The Cossacks by Leo Tolstoy
5. Eugene Onegin by Alexandr Pushkin (It's poetry! It's more difficult to read than prose and so I stopped on the 10th page. Phew!)
6. The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis
7. Let Me Be Woman by Elisabeth Elliott
8. Breaking the Enemy's Grip by Eddie Smith
And I want to read The Brothers Karamazov AGAIN.
Social activities stress me out sometimes. I periodically go through moments when I obsessively crave for solitude. It's not that I don't enjoy the company of people, it's just that there are times when it's more than what I prefer; it's a little too much than what I actually need, it gives me headaches already (quite literally, at that). The thing that irks me most about it is that it takes a lot of time, which during ordinary days have been set aside for prayer and reflection.
I've never really had an active social life. I'm an anti-social bookworm, yea. I spend a lot of my free time alone listening to music, reading, scouring bookstores or grudgingly trying to do the laundry.. I don't mind hanging out by myself; that is not to say though that I dont have friends. I have quite deep and God-centered ones. I'm not THAT anti-social. I partly blame my overprotective grandparents and to some extent, my mom, for not allowing me to "socialise" and play outdoors when I was a kid. I was so sheltered, which I believe is one of the reasons why I'm not very outgoing, though I don't consider that entirely detrimental. I lived away from family since I was 13 and I consider myself quite independent and self-reliant, I must say I still lived on the shadow of their protectiveness. There were too many rules, followed them to the letter and imposed stricter ones on myself as my own fine form of rebellion. (Now how many times have I said that??)
Anyway, I admit that I'm too cerebral and I know that I shoouldn't always be thinking and thinking and reflecting and reflecting. I should learn to be less uptight and more outgoing. More than two friends have pointed that out but even if they say I have too much brain activity, I still don't think it's of the academic/intellectual type. My thoughts are continuous reflections on things - personal or otherwise. I dont speak out or write them down until I've somehow grasped or understood them myself. Oh well, whatever. Long and short of it, I can't wait to be alone again and READ and pray and reflect. It's killing me! I have quiet times to make up for, bible readings to catch up on and a few new books (well, bargain ones) to devour. I've recently finished Chaim Potok's novel, In the Beginning, when I was away from work for a whole week due to those allergies and I'm on the last chapter of Anthony Trollope's The Warden.
Thought I'd share the new books I can't wait to read/finish (in no particular order):
1. Moments of Reprieve by Primo Levi
2. My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok
3. Still Life by AS Byatt (then again, I should read Babel Tower first and find myself a bargain copy of Possession)
4. The Cossacks by Leo Tolstoy
5. Eugene Onegin by Alexandr Pushkin (It's poetry! It's more difficult to read than prose and so I stopped on the 10th page. Phew!)
6. The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis
7. Let Me Be Woman by Elisabeth Elliott
8. Breaking the Enemy's Grip by Eddie Smith
And I want to read The Brothers Karamazov AGAIN.
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